There’s something at first liberating and then terrifying about leaving a professional employment situation to pursue either school, new training, or a personal business/idea that hasn’t yet gotten off the ground. One day you are an employed professional with a business card you can pass out to people you meet and network with, that tells them who you are (at least on paper). You have a socially explainable identity.
The next, you are someone who is on your way to the next stage of your life but hasn’t yet reached it. You can describe it and even try to show evidence that supports your conviction (attending classes, showing the bare bones of that website you are building, talking about the future you are planning…) . But, there is still something discomfiting about the loss of the box worthy identity you used to be able to squeeze into your Linked in header paragraph or elevator pitch. Particularly if you aren’t fresh out of college or in your early 20’s.
Is it really important that we all fit into some sort of quantifiable box so we can define ourselves in a way to others that they deem worthy or ‘successful’?
It’s important if what we crave most is others approval, or to ‘look successful’. It isn’t as important if we can let go of caring about peoples’ perceptions of us, and focus on what our own perceptions of ourselves are. What we genuinely want and need to be happy.
People going through this period of life, particularly those who have spent a long time in corporate or professional positions or organizations are used to being seen and responded to a certain way. We are used to summarizing ourselves. We feel successful simply because we have a job and get paid a salary and keep moving up the ladder. We dress up in business clothes and feel important. It’s like we’ve been given a shiny gold star to put on our chart for having achieved the high honor of having a career. Whether we like what we do or not.
When we leave that profession and that persona behind, it’s like we’ve lost the visible gold star that tells everyone how successful and wonderful and smart we are. We have to be our own gold star. We have to shake off the neatly packaged-into-a-paragraph identity, and realize our actual identity. Shake off others’ doubts or opinions or fears without letting them affect how great we feel about what we are doing.
What prompted this little tangent?
I’ve realized I live in a world where most of the people I meet identify themselves as what they do not who they are. I’ve noticed this is particularly true in the U.S. When did we all become a walking resume (or CV)?
I’m sure some other countries are right up there with us (Japan comes to mind), but my European friends, Australian friends, Kiwi Friends, and South American friends never lead with ‘My name is so and so and I work in this type of organization where I do such and such’ at social gatherings. They talk about the good stuff. The fun stuff. The trips they’ve taken and will take, the restaurant they tried out last night, the wonderful things they are enjoying about the country they are in, what such and such sports team did, or how a movie they saw or date they went on was.
My point is… a lot of people don’t define themselves (and I would say marginalize themselves by defining themselves) by what they do. They lead, with who they are.
We are all more than boxes we can check on a resume. What do we really want people to take away from meeting us? What identity do we really want to claim?
And, can we handle the repercussions of not following a path that others see as ‘successful’ (i.e. a lack of respect, less financial security and potentially being viewed as ‘less’ )?
We can, if we find a community of others who feel the same way. I’m still looking for mine.